How to Have a Movie Marathon like a College Student

College students exist in an almost constant state of stress. To combat this overwhelming stress, sometimes they just need a day off to forget their classes. One way they do this is by participating in movie marathons. There is more to it though than just watching movies, and to help you understand how to do it right The Scoop recently spoke with two movie aficionados.

Zachary Thomas a junior, and Christopher Cook a senior both currently attend Drury University. Thomas is an avid movie lover who has brought over 100 movie titles from home to keep him entertained this semester. Cook is a pop culture guru who loves movies and is currently participating in a version of the October Horror Movie Challenge where participants watch 31 movies in 31 days during the month of October.

Without further delay, here are the steps you need to have a movie marathon like a college student.

1. Wake up in a tired and confused heap.

2. Look at your cell phone and return messages you got last night. Scroll through Facebook and awkwardly like the weird posts of relatives.

3. Roll out of bed as gracefully as a donkey.

4. Stumble into the closest bathroom.

5. Stare at yourself in the mirror and loath who you are and what you have become.

6. Look at your clock and realize it’s midday.

7. Heat up left over pizza. As you stare into, what is essentially, bread with cheese and ground up tomatoes, think about all the things you have to do today.

8. Realize you aren’t ready to deal with your responsibilities today and proclaim a movie marathon day.

9. Call a friend to take you to Walmart because you need movies and more food.

10. Put on pants, because of course you haven’t had pants on this whole time. Why would you have pants on before noon? You aren’t the President.

11. Sulk around Walmart with your friend looking for food. Try not to scare all the old people and toddlers with your awful appearance. Also, make sure to walk with good posture as you pass the security guards so they don’t mistake you for a homeless zombie.

12. Quickly remember you’re actually poor and go stare at the frozen pizzas while trying to decide which brand will give you quantity over quality.

13. Pick up a two liter of soda and use the self-checkout because other decent human beings don’t deserve the force field of awfulness that you exude.

14. Walk up to the Red Box before you leave and contemplate which movies you want. You aren’t looking for genuinely good cinema because even though you have the crushing anxiety and responsibilities of an adult, you’re really just a tall child. You are just trying to find the movies that distract from the world around you.

“When you’re watching a movie marathon, as a college student, you want to aim for the types of flashy, low complexity films that can keep your attention,” according to Thomas.

“If you have to think critically about the plot, or anything of philosophical consequence, it’s probably not the right type of movie for a college binge session,” says Cook.

15. Once your friend drops you back off at your living quarters immediately tear off your pants.

16. Begin the binge proper by putting in the first movie.

17. Try to forget about the world around you as you stare into the light coming from the magical rectangle that is your laptop or television.

18. Laugh at the crappy jokes and audibly boo bad plot.

19. Heat up the pizza you bought at Walmart before starting the next film.

20.Feel a weird mixture of pride and shame as you finish a whole pizza in record time.

21. Slowly realize you have only eaten pizza today.

22. Cry.

23. Snap back into a vegetative state where you have no responsibilities outside of the screen and continue to pop in movies like a robot.

24. After the last movie’s credits start to roll look at your phone and sit in still terror as you realize you have a big paper due tomorrow and that it’s 10:00 p.m. somehow even though you’re certain it was noon like 5 minutes ago.

25. Feverishly throw open your laptop and start typing with no regard for grammar.

26. Make a pot of coffee and settle in for a night of writing.

27. Walk into class in shambles and proudly put your paper on the desk in the front of the classroom. You might not have slept at all last night, but you did oddly good work.